How are the endings in counselling?

If you are seeing a counsellor and ever asked yourself when will the counselling end or if you are a counselling student and ask yourself the same this article is for you.

The endings in counselling might happen in different ways. It may be a planned ending or an unplanned ending. Endings are different for every person and are experienced differently according to their personal history. Although it is true that ending can involve strong emotions and even painful to some people, it also offers a big opportunity for growth when well planned, especially for people who had previous traumatic ending events in their lives.

In an ideal situation, the ending in the counselling relationship is prepared, so the client knows it is coming at some point soon. So the counsellor plans the ending carefully according to their clients’ needs. It is a process instead of an isolated event. The ending starts at the first session in cases where counselling is focused on one specific issue, like bereavement, divorce, change of jobs, moving, sex change, gender issues, etc. It can also start from the first session when a certain number of sessions is agreed or paid for by a charitable organisation. The counsellor is likely to start contracting (the initial agreement between client and counsellor) by stating the number of available sessions or until the issue to be discussed is satisfactorily understood. The total number of sessions available, or perhaps when they sum half of the total sessions might be brought up to the client. How often it is done will depend on the need of the client (i.e. a very anxious clients might need reminders, but less often). For a specific issue, it is worthy to check with the client how they are progressing, so the client starts preparing themselves for the ending.

In open-ended counselling (no set number of sessions or specific issues), checking often with the client gives the idea that the relationship will be maintained until the issues are resolved, preparing the client beforehand.

In any case, the counsellor constantly assesses the client preparedness for the end of the relationship listening and noticing statements about how the issues are less problematic for the client, discussing the client and counsellor relationship ( as the relationship itself is ending, not only the therapy), making sure the client has the tool to carry own by themselves and are empowered to do so (enough self-esteem, boundaries, ability to make own decisions, understanding their own feelings, responsible for their own needs and wants). In the last session, the counsellor may ask the client for their view of the counselling process and give themselves their viewpoint.

There are times, however, when the counselling ends unexpectedly. The client might not return to therapy, or the client might have a serious illness, pass away, etc. In person-centred therapy, the counsellor would have unconditional positive regard and would welcome the client back. So if the client ever decides coming back, it is likely that the counselling will resume from where it was left. It is also true for many other types of therapy.

From the viewpoint of the counsellor, the return of a client is not certain or impossible in the case of a fatality. A relationship was also established for the counsellor as well, and therefore, they also need to be prepared for unexpected endings or be able to discuss in supervision in order to assimilate better the ending. The counsellor needs to understand and be prepared for the fact that not all clients will stay until they go through all their issues. Psychotherapists also know beforehand that when a client does not come back, it does not mean that they did not offer proper counselling. Of course, it is possible that being human some problem when helping a client might happen. However, those problems are generally avoided as counsellors have constant supervision and constantly self-reflection to help understanding better clients' needs before it ever happens and avoid ever happening again if any failure in offering help occurred. So endings in counselling are normal and part of the counselling process. Endings are treated as smaller processes inside the bigger process of counselling. The counsellor will always plan the ending to better attend the clients' needs.